Divorce Papers | Do I Need a Lawyer?

With about 40-50% of marriages in the United States ending in divorce, many Americans will experience the process of filing and responding to divorce papers at some point in their lives. Therefore, it is essential to understand the legal process surrounding divorce and to have access to resources that may help navigate the process. Whether you are the petitioner or the respondent, having a thorough understanding of the divorce papers and the resulting process can help ensure that your experience is as smooth and manageable as possible.

How to Serve Divorce Papers

Divorce papers, also known as a summons and complaint or petition, can be served in several ways, including:

• Personal Service: The papers can be physically delivered to the spouse by a process server or a neutral third party over 18.

• Substituted Service: If the spouse cannot be found, the papers can be left with a responsible person at their home.

• Mail Service: The papers can be mailed to the spouse’s last known address, with the return receipt requested.

• Service by Publication: If the spouse’s whereabouts are unknown, the papers can be published in a local newspaper for a specified period.

Following the rules and procedures for serving divorce papers according to your jurisdiction's laws is essential to ensure the process is legally valid.

How much does it cost to serve divorce papers to my spouse?

The cost of serving divorce papers can vary depending on several factors, including the method of service, the location of the spouse, and the fees charged by the process server or other service provider. 

Personal service, which involves having a process server or third party deliver the papers directly to the spouse, can cost anywhere from $50 to $200 or more. Substituted service, where the documents are left with a responsible person at the spouse's home or work, is typically less expensive and can cost around $50 to $100. 

Mail service is usually the least expensive option and can cost around $20 to $30 for certified mail with a return receipt requested. Service by publication can also be inexpensive, but many states only allow this method once the others have been exhausted. 

How long does it take to serve divorce papers?

The time it takes to serve divorce papers can vary depending on the service method, the spouse's location, and the availability of a process server or other service provider. 

Personal service, where the papers are delivered directly to the spouse, can be completed within a few days to a week, depending on the process server's schedule and the spouse's availability. Substituted service, where the papers are left with a responsible person at the spouse's home or work, can take slightly longer, as it may require multiple attempts to locate a suitable recipient. 

Mail service can take several days to a week or more, depending on the time it takes for the papers to reach the spouse and for the return receipt to be returned to the sender. Service by publication can take several weeks, as it typically requires the papers to be published in a local newspaper for several consecutive weeks before the service is considered complete. 

How long does a divorce take after filing papers?

The length of time a divorce takes can vary greatly depending on the complexity of the case, the responsiveness of both parties, and the backlog of cases in the local court system. In a simple, uncontested divorce, where both parties agree on all major issues, the divorce can be finalized in as little as a few weeks. However, in a more complicated case, where there are disputes over property, custody, child support, or other issues, the divorce process can take several months or longer. 

What Happens After Divorce Papers Are Served?

After the divorce papers are served, the following steps typically occur in the divorce process:

1. Filing a response: The served spouse can respond to the allegations and terms outlined in the divorce papers. Their response is usually filed with the court and served on the other spouse. 

2. Discovery: Both spouses gather information relevant to the divorce, such as financial documents and information about assets and liabilities.

3. Negotiations: If both spouses agree on the terms of the divorce, they may enter into negotiations to reach a settlement agreement. If a settlement is reached, the terms will be memorialized in a written agreement submitted to the court for approval. 

4. Court hearing: If a settlement cannot be reached, the case may proceed to a court hearing, where a judge will make decisions regarding the terms of the divorce.

5. Finalization of the divorce: If a settlement agreement or court order finalizes the divorce, the divorce papers will be filed with the court, and a divorce decree or judgment will be entered. This document sets forth the terms and conditions of the divorce, including property division, custody, and support arrangements. 

While these are general guidelines, it is essential to note that the length and complexity of the divorce process can vary greatly depending on the specific circumstances of the case and the cooperation of the parties involved. 

Do I need a divorce attorney?

Whether or not you need a divorce attorney is a personal decision that depends on several factors, including the complexity of your case, your ability to represent yourself, and your financial resources. 

If you and your spouse agree on all major issues, such as property division, custody, and support, and can communicate effectively, you may handle a divorce without an attorney. In such cases, you can use online resources, such as do-it-yourself divorce kits, or work with a mediator or a collaborative divorce coach to finalize the divorce. 

However, if you have a complex case with significant assets, disputes over property or custody, or other complicating factors, it's generally recommended that you seek the assistance of an attorney. An experienced divorce attorney can help you navigate the legal process, protect your rights, and ensure your interests are protected throughout the divorce process. 

Additionally, if you are concerned about domestic violence or abuse, it's imperative to seek the assistance of an attorney. They can help you obtain a protective order and take other steps to ensure your safety during the divorce. 

Ultimately, the decision to retain an attorney is a personal one that depends on your circumstances and needs. If you have any doubts or concerns, it's a good idea to consult a qualified attorney to determine your case's best course of action. 

How to Respond to Divorce Papers

If you have been served with divorce papers, you need to respond within a specific timeframe set by the court, usually within 20 to 30 days. Here are the steps you can take to respond to the divorce papers:

1. Review the papers: Carefully read the divorce papers and ensure you understand your spouse's allegations and demands.

2. Decide on a response: You have several options for responding to the divorce papers, including agreeing to the terms, disputing some of the terms, or not responding. 

3. File an answer: If you choose to dispute the terms or have specific requests, you will need to file a formal response, known as an "answer," with the court. A copy should be served on your spouse or their attorney.

It's vital to respond to the divorce papers within the required timeframe, as failure to do so may result in a default divorce, where the court may grant the divorce based on the terms requested by your spouse.

What do divorce papers look like?

Divorce papers typically consist of a legal document known as a "complaint for divorce" or "petition for dissolution of marriage." This document outlines the reasons for the divorce and sets forth the terms and conditions requested by the filing spouse, such as division of property and spousal support. Once the non-filing spouse has been served, they can respond to the allegation and present their requests for terms and conditions in a document known as an "answer."

What happens if I don’t sign the divorce papers?

If you do not sign the divorce papers, your spouse can still proceed with the divorce. In some cases, if one spouse fails to sign the divorce papers, the other spouse may file a motion with the court to have the divorce granted based on their testimony alone. This is known as a default divorce. 

However, if both spouses do not agree on the divorce terms, such as property division or custody of children, the court may have to decide on their behalf. In these cases, it's usually in your best interest to participate in the divorce proceedings and to sign the divorce papers to ensure your rights and interests are protected. 

How do I get a copy of my divorce papers?

You can obtain a copy of your divorce papers by contacting the court where your divorce case was filed. Here are the steps you can follow:

1. Determine the jurisdiction: Find out which court handled your divorce case. This information should be available on your divorce decree or judgment.

2. Contact the court clerk: You can usually contact the court clerk’s office by phone or in person. Provide them with the relevant case information, such as your name and your spouse’s name, the date of the divorce, and the case number if you have it.

3. Request a copy of the divorce papers: The court clerk can provide you with a certified copy for a fee. Depending on the court's policies and procedures, you can request the documents in person, by mail, or online.

4. Provide payment: Pay the fee for the certified copy of the divorce papers. The fee will vary depending on the court and jurisdiction.

If you have trouble obtaining a copy of your divorce papers, you can also contact an attorney who was involved in your divorce case or consult with a legal aid organization.

Resources for Folks Going Through a Divorce

Going through a divorce can be a difficult and emotional experience, and it’s important to know that you’re not alone. The following is a list of resources to help you navigate the divorce process, including legal aid, mental health organizations, and information on divorce support groups.

DivorceCare

DivorceCare is a nationwide network of support groups for individuals going through a divorce. The program is designed to provide emotional and spiritual support to individuals as they navigate the challenges of divorce. DivorceCare support groups are led by individuals who have gone through the divorce process themselves. They offer a compassionate and nonjudgmental environment where individuals can share their experiences, feelings, and struggles with others in similar situations. In addition to weekly support groups, this organization also offers online resources, articles, and videos that provide additional information and support. The program also includes a workbook that participants can use to journal their thoughts and feelings and work through the information covered in each session.

Reddit Divorce Support

Reddit Divorce Support is a subreddit, or community, on the Reddit website that provides support and resources for individuals going through a divorce. The subreddit is open to anyone seeking help, regardless of gender, age, or background. 

One of the key benefits of Reddit Divorce Support is the anonymity that the platform provides. This can be especially helpful for individuals who are hesitant to discuss their divorce with friends and family, as they can engage with others in the subreddit without revealing their identity. In addition, Reddit Divorce Support also provides access to a wealth of information and resources on topics related to divorce. Participants can ask questions and receive answers from other individuals who have gone through the divorce process and from legal professionals and mental health experts who participate in the subreddit.

The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center

The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center (NHMRC) is a non-profit organization that provides information and support for individuals going through a divorce. The center aims to promote healthy relationships and marriages but also provides information and support for those seeking to dissolve their marriage. The NHMRC offers emotional support, legal information, financial planning resources, and relationship resources to help individuals navigate the divorce process and move forward. The center is intended to be used as a complement to professional therapy or legal advice, not as a substitute. 

The American Association of Retired Persons

The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) is a non-profit organization that provides information and resources for individuals over 50. AARP's website includes a section on divorce that provides information and resources to help individuals going through a divorce, including legal information, financial planning, emotional support, and lifestyle resources. AARP can be a valuable resource for individuals going through a divorce, particularly those over 50. 

The American Bar Association

The American Bar Association (ABA) is a professional organization for lawyers in the United States. The ABA provides various resources for individuals going through a divorce, including legal information, resources, and advocacy groups. This organization can be a valuable resource for individuals going through a divorce, particularly those needing legal information and guidance during the process. 

About the Author

Scott Levin is a family law attorney mediator in San Diego California known as the Chief PeaceKeeper™. As the leading divorce mediation lawyer in California, Scott leverages an eclectic background in law, business and finance to aid families through his expertise in family and divorce mediation. Passionate and dedicated to aiding clients resolve conflict outside of court, Scott Levin helps clients amicably divorce in California by working to bring about settlement terms, drafting the marital settlement agreements and filing the court forms. Scott also helps with post-judgment modifications as well as prenuptial and postnuptial marital agreements.